The Freshman Dropoff Emotional Rollercoaster

I have been watching friends post about college drop off for years.  Invariably, there was always tears and this heavy sadness. I don't recall anyone being "happy". I mean I get it, it's sad to leave your kid in a different city and of course you will miss them, but I always wondered about the parents that were happy after saying their goodbyes? Were they out there???

Over the years, the idea of my kids going away to college just excited me.  I never felt nervous,  I never felt sadness, I never felt anxiety.  Just pure excitement.  I always said to myself, well, I gotta wait and see what it's like when it happens...maybe I will be all of those things...who knows...emotions are weird.  And I promised I would share my honest take.

Of course, everyone is entitled to their emotions.  There is no right way to feel about anything  but I wanted to share a different perspective and be totally honest.

Of course I'm. going to miss him.  There's a piece of your heart now beating in a different city. There is no doubt that there is some sadness attached to that.  On the day I was leaving I started to feel that anxiousness, maybe because the "goodbye" was looming, maybe because the reality set in?  But after we said our goodbyes and I boarded the plane I was truly mostly excited for him.  He was settled, he had made new friends and he was happy.

I never had that.  As an immigrant, my parents traditions and customs were not okay with the "moving away from college" thing.  So I'm so happy he gets to experience this.  

And, this is what is supposed to happen.  He gets to move away and find his way, he feels ready and independent enough to do it.  All of that makes me, well, just happy.  And that way overshadows any of the sadness of missing him.

Again, maybe someone will say, give it time and my sadness will sneak in.  Maybe?  I don't know yet but I don't think it will ever overshadow my joy for his path.  

I also have had major life events that make me appreciate this day so much more.  Having a daughter with a chronic illness without answers and not knowing what her future holds makes me have so much gratitude  the path he is on.

Our kids are supposed to grow up, move away, forge their own path, find themselves, become who they are meant to be apart from us.  For me that overshadows any sadness, anxiety or doubt I could hold.  

Will I miss him, YES!  But we are so lucky to live in the era of technology and know he's never really that far away and for him to know WE are NEVER that far away!

If you're in the season of freshman drop off or it's coming up in the near future. I just want to give you permission to feel.   Wether it's sadness, or joy, on anxiety, or relief...or a combo of all of the above.  There is no right or wrong way to go through it.  Just let yourself feel all the feels.  Whether you lose weight because of all the tears you shed, or go out to happy hour with your spouse and fiends after and laugh...it's all good.  

You've spent 18 years pouring into them, now it's time for them to bloom!